Sunday, January 26, 2014

Debra SeS: Choose to Lose the Drama




What? The new year, 2014, is 27 days old. How did that happen, right? I am still formulating my resolutions! I guess I am a little slow because I am fighting the warp speed of our existence!

January has been packed with activity.  Each day is brimming with appointments, events, and tasks -- beginning from dawn to dusk and through the night. Living in the 21st century involves 24 hour access between family members and business partners and connections. It is exhausting to even write it down!

I have difficulty finding time to practice my own #SelfEmpowermentStrategies! I have already been sick in 2014, giving me the choice to cancel my #DebraSeS Radio Show last week. (Every Tuesday at 5:30 pm PST/8:30 EST on BOLD Radio Station at http://www.boldradiostation.com/debra-k-adams/)

The speed of life is detrimental to a human being's serenity, that is what I think! I don't know if I can actually slow down the process of time and tasks, but I do have choices to make.  You do, too.

What is it about choices that scare us? Are we afraid because we may make the wrong choice? And who gets to determine right and wrong anyway? Let's break it down to the nitty-gritty.

Did you know there is a "Choice Theory"? Good, because there is! Google it, you will be surprised at the amount of literature on the subject.  It was developed by William Glasser to describe behavior based on meeting the basic needs of human genetic structure. It is our behavior that helps us build and maintain relationships with people who matter to us, in all aspects of our daily lives.

Here is what I have learned personally, by trial and error, on the topic of CHOICE. It is a decision, mine to make, that guides my behaviors as I carry out the choice. 

Self Empowerment Strategies for CHOICE

1. I am responsible for all my choices.
2. I have the power to make choices for ME! 
3. My choice determines the outcome of my actions.
4. If my choice results in negative feelings, thoughts, or deeds, I can make a new choice.

Wait a minute...did you read #4?  I can make a NEW choice?!  Many of us were raised with the notion that once you make a decision, you must live with it, as in "f o r e v e r."  However, I have discovered when I make a new choice and change my behaviors, the world still revolves on its axis! This is the good news, in 2014, we can make a choice, and then we can make a new choice. And if we still don't like what is going on for us, we can make another choice, and on and on.....are you with me?

If we are going to accept the premise I have outlined above, that means when life gets too busy, too big, too blahhhhh....we have a choice to make. 

I will choose to lose the drama, how about you?? I am looking for a little more serenity, a little peace, a little more quiet, a little more down time 

Please join me --  Choose To Lose The DRAMA!

Always Yours, Debra K. Adams, MA

  1. All we can give another person is information.
  2. All long-lasting psychological problems are relationship problems.
  3. The problem relationship is always part of our present life.
  4. What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but we can only satisfy our basic needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future.
  5. We can only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures in our Quality World.
  6. All we do is behave.
  7. All behavior is Total Behavior and is made up of four components: acting, thinking, feeling and physiology
  8. All Total Behavior is chosen, but we only have direct control over the acting and thinking components. We can only control our feeling and physiology indirectly through how we choose to act and think.
  9. All Total Behavior is designated by verbs and named by the
    part that is the most recognizable.
- See more at: http://www.brucedavenport.com/#sthash.4f4ThUcs.dpuf
The Ten Axioms of Choice Theory
  1. The only person whose behavior we can control is our own.
  2. All we can give another person is information.
  3. All long-lasting psychological problems are relationship problems.
  4. The problem relationship is always part of our present life.
  5. What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but we can only satisfy our basic needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future.
  6. We can only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures in our Quality World.
  7. All we do is behave.
  8. All behavior is Total Behavior and is made up of four components: acting, thinking, feeling and physiology
  9. All Total Behavior is chosen, but we only have direct control over the acting and thinking components. We can only control our feeling and physiology indirectly through how we choose to act and think.
  10. All Total Behavior is designated by verbs and named by the
    part that is the most recognizable.
- See more at: http://www.brucedavenport.com/#sthash.4f4ThUcs.dpuf
The Ten Axioms of Choice Theory
  1. The only person whose behavior we can control is our own.
  2. All we can give another person is information.
  3. All long-lasting psychological problems are relationship problems.
  4. The problem relationship is always part of our present life.
  5. What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but we can only satisfy our basic needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future.
  6. We can only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures in our Quality World.
  7. All we do is behave.
  8. All behavior is Total Behavior and is made up of four components: acting, thinking, feeling and physiology
  9. All Total Behavior is chosen, but we only have direct control over the acting and thinking components. We can only control our feeling and physiology indirectly through how we choose to act and think.
  10. All Total Behavior is designated by verbs and named by the
    part that is the most recognizable.
- See more at: http://www.brucedavenport.com/#sthash.4f4ThUcs.dpuf